Reality Check
by KJDN
Summary: Result of the OTP Challenge on Tumblr! A series of shorts about the lovely Mello and Matt from Death Note, completely AU. Different ways that they could've met, in another time and place.
1. Check Out, Aisle 10

**A/N** : Chapter 1 of _Reality Check_ \- the results of an OTP challenge on Tumblr! Prompt #1: I lost my little sibling in IKEA and I need your help finding them.

* * *

"Hey, you!"

"Can I help you?" Matt drawled in his well-practiced way. He turned and stared as a young man dressed in black bolted down the aisle, dodging faux potted plants and shelves of plastic fruit.

"Yeah!" The blonde man gasped, panting and clearly out of breath. "Look, I don't have time to explain, but have you seen a little white-haired idiot running around lately?"

"You mean the old man on aisle 18, or the little old lady who meows at the cat paintings?" Matt asked, smothering a laugh behind forced professionalism.

"Neither," the man huffed. "It's my kid brother. He goes by the name of Near. He's about six years old, 3'4", 45 lbs., wearing a white shirt and-"

"So you want me to page him on the intercom, or...?" Matt interrupted, pushing his cart out of the way. At this rate, it would take hours to finish sorting out the flatware.

"No! God, no." The blonde cringed. "Our father would murder me if he knew I let the little shit get away. He's probably hiding somewhere, but I don't know where. If you were a shitty little brat, where would you hide?"

"Follow me," Matt said, turning towards the central aisle. "You would be surprised at how many after-hours games of drunk hide-and-seek we play around here. I'm Matt, by the way."

"Mello," the man said.

"Cute name," Matt chuckled. "Short for Melody?"

"Sometimes," Mello huffed. "Sometimes it's short for Mello-will-kick-your-pale-white-ass."

"Now that's a mouthful," Matt rolled his eyes. He poked his head between a set of bookshelves. "Are you always so violent with sales associates?"

"Are you always so snide with customers?" Mello snapped back.

"Touché," Matt laughed. "Hey, is that your brother?"

He pointed towards the section with the bed linens. On the display model towards the back right corner, a white mop of unruly hair poked out from beneath a pink duvet. A stack of square pillows lay neatly arranged in a semi-circle around the designated hiding spot.

"You awful little sneak!" Mello growled, grabbing Near by the shoulder and pulling him out from under the display bed. He shook the boy, glaring sourly. "You have no idea how much I've looked for you."

"I counted to seven hundred and thirty-five," Near said, twirling his finger in his hair. He took Mello's hand, staring up at Matt with a curious expression.

"Cute kid," Matt said, patting Near on the head. "Next time, you should try the bathroom display. There's a whole forest of shower curtains you can hide in."

"Don't encourage him," Mello sighed dramatically. "But uh... thanks. For finding him."

"All part of my job," Matt said, pointing to his name badge. " _Creating a better everyday life_ , as they say."

"Yeah, I get it," Mello said, growling as Near tugged his arm in the direction of the soap dispenser display. "I don't suppose you carry child-sized bodybags, do you?"

"Afraid not. Is there anything else I can help you with?" Matt asked, amused.

"Yeah," Mello paused, "What time do you get off today?"


	2. Pipe(r) Dreams

**A/N** : Welcome to Chapter 2 of the _Reality Check_ series! This is for OTP Prompt #2: I work at the animal shelter and you come in to pet the cats when you're sad.

* * *

"Welcome to the Northland Cat House. Are you here to adopt?" The bushy-haired woman behind the desk smiled warmly, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose. She reached across the desk for a stack of adoption forms.

"No... no, just uh..." The redhead fumbled on his words, ducking his eyes under his orange goggles. "I'm just, uh-"

"Sherry, he's with me," Mello said, stepping into the main room. "Haven't seen you in a few weeks. Come on, you can come to the back. Lilith finally had her kittens."

"Oh, good," the man smiled, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his ill-fitting jeans. "How many?"

"Eight," Mello said. "She's a tired Momma Cat. They're all healthy except for one little girl. She's had a rough few days."

"Can I hold them?"

"Sure. Just be careful, all right? They're tiny." Mello unlocked the door and stepped inside, narrowly avoiding a purring tabby chasing a toy mouse. "Oh, watch out for Mizar; he's on a biting binge today."

"'Kay," the man said, smiling at the one-eyed black cat in the corner. "Hey little fella."

Mizar farted and hissed. The man smiled.

"Lil and the kittens are over here," Mello said, waving him over. "I'll let you sit inside the cage with them. They're only in here until they're old enough to join the others," he added. "As soon as they're ready for adoption, they'll be in the main room. Watch out, Sparkles."

"Sparkles won't know what to do with herself. Too much competition," the young man chuckled, kneeling on the floor of the cage. "Hey Lilith."

"Poor tired Momma," Mello cooed, rubbing the purring calico's head. "We're just gonna show off your babies, all right?"

Mello picked up a tiny wriggling furball and handed it to the other man. It pawed at his striped shirt.

"They're so small," the man smiled. "Tiny."

"That one is Henry. This one's Athena," Mello pointed to a female whose markings matched the mother's. "Athena's the only one who came out calico like her mother."

"I thought calico was a breed."

"Nope," Mello grinned. "They're just shorthairs. That's why Henry and Max are gray, and Artemis, Haley, and Diana are black and white. The orange one is Jude. The brown one is Piper. She's not doing so well. She was the runt, and she's having trouble with her back leg. It's too short, see?"

"Oh," the man frowned. "I hope she gets well soon."

"Me too," Mello admitted. "Lilith has done her best, but eight is a lot. Piper gets shoved out of the way at feeding time. I've had to suckle her on a dropper more than once when her siblings suck poor Momma dry. If she makes it, it will be hard to find her a home. People don't really like deformed kittens, you know?"

"I would take her," he said, petting the tiny kitten's head with two fingers.

"You should," Mello said gently. "You love cats. You're here all the time. Maybe you should get one for yourself."

"I'm not so good with animals," the man admitted. "I'm not so good with anything."

"You're good with the cats here." Mello handed the man another kitten - Diana, this time. "Can I ask you something?"

"What is it?" The man cupped his hands under Diana's backside, smiling as she nuzzled against his chest.

"What should I call you?" Mello held up his hands. It doesn't have to be your real name. It's just, I've been referring to you as Stripes for a while, but I didn't want to call you that to your face. Unless you're cool with it?"

"Matt. I'm Matt." He placed Henry beside his mother. Lilith immediately began licking her baby's head, causing both men to chuckle.

"It's nice to put a name to a face, Matt," Mello said. "Seriously, though. Consider adopting? Not that I don't enjoy seeing you here every other weekend, but it just seems like you're kind of a lonely guy."

Matt frowned. Mello cringed, plopping Max into Matt's lap.

"There's nothing wrong with being a loner, of course," Mello added quickly. "Let me try this again. Do you have a roommate, Matt? Girlfriend? Anyone to keep you company?"

"Not really," Matt muttered, patting Max's back. Max mewed, and a flicker of a smile lit up Matt's face for a brief moment. "I had a roommate. It didn't work out. It's just me and my video games. I work a lot. I probably wouldn't have time for a pet."

"Where do you work?" Mello asked. He took Diana from Matt and placed her by Lilith, who promptly began washing her daughter just like she'd washed her son.

"Tech support," Matt said. "Technically I work from home, but..."

"So you would have plenty of time," Mello said brightly. "It's settled. When the kittens are old enough to go to their new homes, you'll get one. I'll even waive the adoption fee."

"Mello, I don't know the first thing about raising a kitten," Matt said, flustered. "I'm not very good at taking care of-"

"Then I'll come over and show you everything you need to know!" Mello interrupted, determined. "I'll show you how to be the very best Fur-Papa. You'll be number one! Well, second to me, of course."

"Let me get this straight," Matt furrowed his brow. "You'll give me a kitten, waive the adoption fee, and train her for me? What's the catch?"

Mello paused, picking up little brown Piper and holding her close to his chest. He stared pointedly at Matt.

"You'll take Piper. It's not common knowledge, but we are a kill shelter. If we reach capacity and they think nobody wants her..." he trailed off, kissing the tiny creature's head. Piper wriggled, trying to suckle Mello's fingertips. "If I can tell them she's spoken for, they'll have her spayed and microchipped and she can live a good life. A good life with you. Maybe you'll be good for each other."

Matt stared at the tiny kitten in Mello's arms, then glanced up at Mello himself. Somehow, the scene felt right. For a moment, Matt could almost picture Piper and Mello in his apartment - in his life. For some reason, he liked the idea.

"Okay," Matt said, imagining cat toys scattered around his computer parts. Scratching posts beside gaming consoles. Mello sitting in the recliner, Piper purring on his lap. "Yeah. I'll do it. I want her."

Mello beamed.

"On one condition," Matt added.

"Name it," Mello said.

"Promise me that you'll come over and teach me how to care for her?"

"I pinky-swear it," Mello said, extending his little finger. Matt mimicked the gesture, sealing the deal.

"Mello?" Mello's skin was soft. Much warmer than Matt expected.

"Yeah, Matt?" the blonde asked.

"Maybe you could come over sooner? To help me prepare a place for her. And, uh," Matt added quickly, "Maybe catch a movie?"

"Sure," Mello grinned. "I think I'd like that."

Piper purred.


	3. Fate's Arrow Travels Slow

**A/N** : Welcome to Chapter 3 of _Reality Check_! Prompt #3: "Oh, so you're the camp counselor my little sibling keeps talking about."

* * *

Mello swatted at a mosquito perched on his arm - the third one in as many minutes. Sunlight streamed through the rustling leaves above; twenty different kinds of birds chirped and squawked in a cacophony of nature sounds. He shifted his weight around on the rough wooden bench, trying to avoid getting a splinter in his ass. The papers attached to the clipboard in his hand kept fluttering in the wind, making it extremely difficult to fill out these damn forms.

Not to mention, Near would not shut up.

"-and last year, we rode horses to the lake and had a picnic, and-"

"That's great, Near," Mello snapped in irritation. "Can you hold off on the stories for ten minutes so I can get you registered? I can't concentrate."

"The forms are not difficult; your concentration is simply weakened due to the fact that you are in the wilderness and you would rather be at home," Near droned, twirling his hair. He continued, "And at the lake..."

"Ugh," Mello groaned, trying to tune out his little brother long enough to complete the emergency contact information, "I hate nature."

"He was so amazing," Near continued, "And the way he taught us to row encapsulated the methods of physics and buoyancy that-"

"Who are you blathering on about, again?" Mello interrupted, flipping to the final page in the lengthy registration packet.

"There is a camp counselor who taught canoeing," Near explained. "I think he is an extremely talented instructor, and I admire his methods used in teaching children of all ages and levels of proficiency."

"Oh, really?" Mello feigned interest. He jotted down as many of Near's food allergies as he could remember, trying to recall the last time his little brother had a tetanus shot

"Yes, and he also quite enjoys video games, and he is very good at archery, and sometimes he compares the lake to Keats' poetry, and-"

"Wait, he does what?" Mello asked, finally paying attention. "Your counselor read Keats?"

"Yes, and Dante and Frost. He can recite several lines of Paradiso from memory. He also built a wifi booster that works all the way out here, so he spends most of the night tinkering with his computer. When we complete a skills course efficiently, he will sometimes let us sit in his room during free time so we can watch him work. Last year, he taught us how to put together a computer tower." Near smiled, using his toy robot's arm to point toward the registration table. "There he is. The one with the goggles."

Mello locked eyes with the mysterious camp counselor for a brief moment.

 _Oh, shit._

He felt his heart race. Tanned arms, defined muscles, shockingly green eyes, and a smattering of freckles across his cheeks and nose. The man gave Mello a small wave before bending over to help a little girl with her bags. Mello had to drag his eyes away to keep from staring at how his toned thighs peeked out from his cargo shorts.

"Hey, Near?" He asked casually, "Do they need more chaperons at this camp?"

"They are always accepting applications for more staff," Near said, confused. "Do you know somebody who is interested in exploring nature and instructing children?"

"Not really," Mello said. "But I was just thinking... I might be bored while you're at sleep-away camp. Maybe I can hang around here for a while."


	4. All I Do Is Win Win Win No Matter What

**A/N** : Welcome to Chapter 4 of _Reality Check_! Prompt #4: "We both have friends who party too hard and we keep running into each other in the bathroom while we hold their hair back."

 **TW** : Alcohol, Vomit, Body Fluids and Bathroom Stuff

* * *

"Matsuda, for fuck's sake!" Mello groaned, yanking the older man by the tie. "No. No. No, if you're gonna puke, get to the bathroom _right now_!"

The pair stumbled into the bar's greasy restroom, which already smelt of puke and piss and excrement and smoked substances. Judging by the disabled smoke detector and the used condom in the trash bin, the men's restroom was a free-for-all for all sorts of mischief.

Mello shoved Matsuda into the nearest vacant stall, moving his friend's black bangs out of the way before a torrent of colorful liquid spewed into the toilet. Mello gagged, looking anywhere in the world except the porcelain bowl. When the sticky sweet acrid smell hit his nose, Mello had to leave the stall or else he would be next. He stood at the sink, turning on the tap to splash cool water on his face. The bar was hot, not just from the mass of bodies on the dance floor, but also due to the lack of air conditioning and the uselessness of five slow ceiling fans above. He wished he hadn't worn all leather for once.

"Move!" Somebody yelled from the left. Mello scooted out of the way just in time for a brown-haired boy to half-stumble, half-crawl into the stall beside Matsuda. A red-haired boy in a striped shirt - the one who had yelled - patted the man's back soothingly as the young man retched into the commode.

"It's okay, Light," the red-haired man said chipperly. "It happens to all of us, buddy. It's happened to me, and it's happening to the guy beside us, and... Hey, blondie!"

Mello blinked.

"Me?" he asked incredulously.

"Yeah!" The man said. "It's happened to you, too, right? You have one too many drinks, and all of a sudden..."

Light, as the brown-haired man was called, started vomiting again.

"...Yeah, that happens!" The man grinned, shrugging. "It happens to everyone. See, Light? Everyone. You're okay, buddy. You're gonna be okay."

"Matsuda, are you almost done?" Mello asked, peeking in on his friend. Matsuda lay curled around the base of the toilet, his right shoe sticking to something Mello couldn't recognize and frankly didn't want to think about. "Hey, get up. Drink water."

Mello helped Matsuda to his feet and steered him to the sink. After a few deep gulps of water, Matsuda seemed to come back to life.

"Gee, Mello, I didn't... I don't know what came over me..." Matsuda pouted nervously. "I'm sorry! It won't happen again!"

"It's fine, it's fine," Mello chuckled. "Just, no more pink drinks. Deal?"

"Deal!" Matsuda saluted. "Let's go back to the dance floor!"

"All right," Mello grinned. He nodded to the man in the striped shirt. "Good luck with your friend."

"Thanks," the man laughed. "Have fun out there!"

Less than thirty minutes later, Mello found himself back in the men's lavatory, holding back Matsuda's hair. This time, straight whiskey soured the air around him. Mello had a strong stomach, but this was almost getting to be too much.

"Matsuda, I think you've had enough, pal," Mello said.

"I'm sorry!" Matsuda whined, gagging again. Mello cringed, ducking out of the stall.

"Uh huh. It's fine, just... if someone dares you to do six shots, just tell them to fuck off or something. You don't have the stomach for it, man."

"I'm sorry, Mello!" Matsuda said between gasps. "I just wanted to drink like you do!"

"I get that, Matsu," Mello said gently, not wanting a repeat of last time he chastised Matsuda while drunk. The man had cried big crocodile tears until everyone in the bar was staring. He absolutely did not want Matsuda to do that again. "Look, Matsuda, I've been partying for a long time. Even I have my limits, though."

"Really?" Matsuda looked over his shoulder, a string of drool hanging from his chin.

"Really," Mello forced a stiff smile. "Once you learn your own limits, you'll be able to have more fun. You party right up until you hit your limit, then you stop."

"Okay, Mello," Matsuda nodded sagely, drool sticking to the collar of his shirt. "I'll do that next time. Thank you, Mello! I'm sorry, Mello!"

"So, I guess you're called Mello, huh?" A voice said. Mello looked up, nearly colliding with the red-haired man from before. His brunette friend with the khaki trousers slipped into the toilet stall, slamming and locking the door behind him. Some terribly unflattering sounds emerged from the stall, making Mello and the red-haired man cringe simultaneously.

"We've got to stop meeting like this," Mello shook his head. "Yeah. I'm Mello. And you are?"

"Matt. And that charming fellow," Matt gestured at the locked door, laughing, "is my college roommate, Light. This is the first time I've dragged him out on the town. He's used to kegger frat parties, but apparently he can't handle himself with real liquor. How's your friend?"

"Matsuda is..." Mello shrugged, pointing to the slightly ajar stall door, where Matsuda gave a weak wave as he crouched in front of the toilet bowl. "Well, it's Matsuda. He's my coworker."

"Relaxing after a hard week at the office?" Matt smirked.

"As if," Mello rolled his eyes. "We work construction. I didn't get these muscles pushing pencils."

Mello felt the redhead's eyes traveling down his toned body. For the first time that night, he was glad he chose the skin-hugging leather vest and tight leather pants. For a college boy, Matt was fairly attractive. Plus, Mello thought, he had a nice laugh.

"How come I've never seen you here before?" Mello asked.

"Hm? Oh! Right. I usually come on student night," Matt explained. "It's the only excuse I have for getting drunk on a Tuesday. Do you come here a lot on the weekends?"

"Sometimes," Mello said. "Usually Saturdays. Maybe I'll see you around more often?"

"Maybe... but next time, without our comrades?" Matt laughed, his eyes crinkling in the corners.

Mello swallowed thickly, because oh god, the guy had bright green eyes and adorable freckles and Mello could easily ignore the sights, sounds, and smells of the restroom as long as Matt was there. Maybe it was the liquor, or the dim lighting, or the fact that Matsuda was driving him bonkers, but Mello wanted nothing more than to get to know this oddly charming guy standing before him.

"Yeah. Without our buddies next time. Maybe, next Saturday? 10 PM?" Mello couldn't help but smile as Matt's face lit up.

"Perfect. It's a date. Oh god," Matt turned towards the locked door, banging his fist. "Light? Light? You aren't making any noise. Are you conscious? How many fingers am I holding up?"

"The door is locked, Jeevas. I can't see your fingers. Leave me alone; I'm taking a shit!" Light slurred, kicking one brown oxford off to scratch his socked foot with his opposite foot.

"Well, that's one way to make a good first impression," Matt muttered under his breath, turning back to Mello. "Still interested?"

"Mello, I wanna go home!" Matsuda called, stumbling out of the stall. He clung to Mello's arm, sticky fingers making Mello's skin crawl. "Mello, I wanna go home right now!"

"Definitely," Mello said, ignoring Matsuda for the moment. He flashed a toothy grin at the young man in the striped shirt. "Matt Jeevas, I will see you next Saturday at 10 PM. Don't be late. If you're late, you're buying us the first round of shots."

"You're on," Matt smirked. "Good luck getting him home."

"Mellooooo!" Matsuda whimpered, shaking Mello's arm.

"Thanks," Mello said, patting Matsuda on the head to appease him. "I'll need it."


End file.
